Recovering Baptist

I want my office back

Posted in Entertainment, House by RB on May 9th, 2008

Actually I want my house back. House house has 5 bedrooms (four bedrooms and one office), 2 dens, a living room, a kitchen, a dining room and three bathrooms. Right now we have three bedrooms which are usable for their intended purpose. Everything else in our house is a disaster.

The kitchen is in progress. It looks good, but we’ve got a ways to go. The dining room is full of stuff from the kitchen, as is the living room. At least this stuff was of our own choosing.

Our dens and my office have no floors thanks to a pipe backup. I had to take the toilet out of the bathroom on that level so a guy could put a video camera down our drain. The toilet is in the shower. If you’re at my house, please, just go somewhere else. I recommend the ivy out back.

My other toilets need to have their internals replaced. One runs all the time and the other won’t flush.

Right now from my temporary office I hear four kids. Ours are playing just outside my door and our neighbor’s kids are crying outside. I don’t know why I’m bothering to pretend to work today. I need a weekend and the Scotch tasting that comes with it.

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Just call me Dr. Doolittle

Posted in Fun, House by RB on May 7th, 2008

Despite working at home my wife and I still do most of our communicating via instant messenger. It gives that sense of distance that helps me avoid getting sucked into many home-related issues. But once in a while I’ll get an IM like this: “There’s a chipmunk in my kitchen!” A couple of days ago I just heard a yell of “Help!”

You see, many, many years ago, long before we had kids, I wanted a dog. My wife wanted a cat. So we got two - a fat one and a little one. The little one caught a robin once. Scared both of them enough that the cat hasn’t really hunted since, and I’m pretty sure the bird learned its lesson, too. The fat cat, on the other hand, has never caught anything that big. He prefers moles. And chipmunks. Which explains those IM’s that I get.

You’d think that by now we would have learned to keep our front door closed, but that’s hard with little kids. And it just seems mean to close the cat door. So we find the occasional chipmunk carcass in our living room. But it is certainly more exciting when Fatso carries the live ones in, because then we get to chase him. Last night we finally gave up and waited for him to show his head sometime after dinner. I mean, just how do you get a chipmunk out from underneath a piano??? I thought the cat might be useful; perhaps if I showed him the chipmunk he would catch it for us, but he only likes to chase them OUTSIDE of the house. This is, after all, the cat that’s so lazy that the lizard it brought inside the house found it safer to hide under its fat than scurry away to sure safety.

This morning’s excitement, however, had nothing to do with cats. As I walked into our garage I heard a chirping. Yep, there was a bird in our garage. Now a smarter person than I would have ensured that he kept the door to the garage shut tight. But no, not me. I walked downstairs after a conference call only to hear a chirping in my den. After a ten minute chase I was holding a juvenile cardinal in my glove-covered hands. The poor thing was exhausted and scared; we could hear it “talking” to its parents outside. So I carried it outside and removed my top hand. It just sat in my hand for a minute before figuring out which was was up and then flew off for a reunion with both of its parents. On the one hand it was pretty cool to observe aviary familial relations. On the other hand, I think it’s time to close the doors for the rest of the spring…

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It used to be good, I promise

Posted in Entertainment by RB on May 6th, 2008

I must have been a sophomore at GT when it started. And my friends thought I was nuts; I was embarrassed to tell them about it. Actually, I’m embarrassed to write about it now. I was a fan of the first few seasons of MTV’s The Real World. All of my friends thought I was crazy. Who would want to watch a show that consisted of following people my age around their everyday lives? But that first season, and actually the first three or so, were better than everyone thought. As this article shows (hat tip to digg; I don’t normally read this site), back then the people involved viewed it as a sort of documentary. And those of us watching it kind of thought of it that way, too.

Back in 1992 there was nothing like it on TV. MTV was in its transition from actually playing music to doing anything but. None of us had heard of reality TV, and the closest thing to it were “talk” shows like Oprah and Jerry Springer. Cops did come first, but it offered a series of vignettes rather than any sense of story or characters. As for “normal” programming, The Simpsons was making Fox a “real” network, but honestly, the only other Gen-X (a phrase none of us knew then) show on TV was Mystery Science Theater 3000.

It’s easy to overlook the importance of that first group of seven strangers, but consider that everything from Survivorman to Trading Spaces in some way traces its roots to that show. Of course, we also have it to blame for the awfulness of Wife Swap, Super Nanny, and Hannah Montana. Who knows if the networks would have had the guts to air Survivor if MTV hadn’t taken that risk eight years earlier.

Today’s version of the show bears almost no resemblance to the first few seasons. Like so many other shows on that network, The Real World now borders on soft-core porn. It’s hard to remember that there was a time when the plot centered around something other than who was sleeping under whose covers. And it was everyone’s hopes, dreams, and personal struggles that drew me to the show. That, and I saw the future of television. Honestly. It had nothing to do with having a crush on Julie. Nothing at all. Nor that I had a thing for girls from Birmingham. Nope. I just knew how to spot a twenty-season running show from the start. Yeah.

I think she was a dancer…

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If you haven’t seen this…

Posted in Sports by RB on May 5th, 2008

It seems that the interwebs give us a new tear-jerking story every day. But rather than cry about Eight Belles at the Derby, cry about these amazing softball players, instead. Yes, I said softball. If you don’t know about this story, then you should. Trust me.

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It makes a bit more sense now

Posted in Church, Politics, Friends, Religion, Self Reflection by RB on May 5th, 2008

I’m coming to grips with the fact that I no longer identify myself as a conservative. While I agree with many conservative principles, the truth is that the gap between so-called conservatives (and worse, their evil cousins the neo-conservatives) and me is widening on a regular basis.

The topic of abortion came up this weekend while I was on a camping trip with a bunch of men. While I am pro-life, I don’t understand the obsession that some on the right have with this topic. One of the men gave an explanation that sheds some light on the subject. In short, he believes that God is going to judge “us” for the fact that “we” allowed this horrible sin to be legal. I’m hesitant to take on this man’s theology since he is an elder in our denomination, but I’m thinking it’s worthwhile.

There’s no doubt that God judges people. The Old Testament is full of genocide at God’s direction because some people group has harmed the Hebrews in some way. And the Hebrews found themselves a part of one empire or another due to them turning away from God. But I can’t find any clear indication of God judging the empire because His people didn’t stop the sin of other people groups within that empire. In fact, I can only think of two documented cases of God’s judgment against a people group for their internal sins (that is, for something other than poor treatment of the Jews) - the flood and Sodom and Gomorrah. In both of those cases, God preserved His people; he didn’t judge them because of everyone else’s sins.

So it seems to me that the problem is that the religious right has decided to claim responsibility for the entire nation. This feeling of responsibility feeds the paternalistic impulse of religious conservatives to support laws which restrict freedom for activities which some people can enjoy without problems but would tempt others beyond their capabilities to enjoy in moderation. And this is the fundamental difference between the religious right and the religious libertarians - we believe that God will judge the Church for its sins of commission and sins of omission, but He will not hold us responsible for failing to control the impulses of those outside the church.

Now, all of this being said, do I wish abortion were illegal? Yes. I’ve told my story before of how as an embryo I came a bit too close to the doctor’s knife. And as a libertarian I don’t see how we can say someone has basic human rights which must be respected only to ignore the most basic one. However, when it comes to choosing the person who sits in the Oval Office, I think the obsession over who a President might choose to fill a potential vacant seat on a court which might face a case on whether a woman has a right make a choice to murder her baby makes sense. Especially not when the same person will directly make a choice to send people to the front lines where certainly some of them will die and others (as a sad but unavoidable fact of war) will kill conscious human beings. If God is going to judge “us,” then we need to consider all of our actions.

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Colliding worlds

Posted in Church, Politics, Friends, Religion by RB on May 1st, 2008

I have a facebook page. I don’t know why. It’s the kind of timesuck that doesn’t appeal to me - virtual hugs, attacking zombies, or pretending to race. I just don’t get it. It would be a lot more fun to get together and play scrabble face to face over a real beer rather than spread the game out over days with a virtual opponent over a virtual beer…

I ran into someone at church last night, and I told her I was mad at her. Since we really don’t hang out that much, she was taken aback. But once I understood that my old church friends were suddenly able to find me, including an ex-girlfriend, she understood.

The ex-girlfriend and I left on good terms, and we’ve run into each other in the past without any awkwardness. But when I saw her profile I laughed. Her religious views are classified as “Born Again Christian” and her political views as “Very conservative.” Those phrases used to describe me.

Any orthodox Christian will tell you that Christ talks about being born again. But when someone describes themselves explicitly as a “Born Again Christian,” well, you know a lot about them from the start. It just seems that most of those people claim to cling to God’s grace while rarely exhibiting it themselves. My acquaintance and I laughed that our old friends from the megachurch where I once worked or the church where I grew up would probably say that we now attend one of those “liberal” churches since our pastor is handing out virtual beers and swearing online.

Liberals don’t go to heaven. At least, that’s what I used to think. I’d never say as much out loud, but honestly, the way “they” were demonized in my religious circles, it was a logical conclusion. I was an observer to an online conversation where someone stated that if conservatism were a country then anyone who claimed to be conservative but voted for Obama should be hung for treason. I guess I’m not a conservative.

My acquaintance and I agreed that we’re torn in how to handle our facebook friends from our old lives. On the one hand we really want to do something outrageous to throw our newfound freedom in their faces. On the other hand, we’re a little afraid. It turns out that I don’t want to be rejected by people who belong to the form of Christianity that I rejected. The human mind is a very strange thing indeed.

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It’s the most natural thing, but…

Posted in Family, Church, Friends by RB on April 28th, 2008

I hate births. The whole process of babies being born makes me very nervous. I come by it naturally. My parents lost their first child due to a bad forceps delivery. If my first child had been born one hundred and five years ago as to five years ago, I would have lost both a child and a wife in the same day. Like I said, everything about the whole process puts me on edge.

Some good friends of ours were convinced they wouldn’t be able to have kids. Then a “Christian” adoption agency turned them down as adoptive parents (which, as an adopted child still makes me see red). But somehow, after years and years of trying, they conceived nine months ago. They decided to give birth at home with the assistance of a midwife and a doula. Great idea; my mom was delivered in her parents’ bedroom with the assistance of my great-grandfather who delivered most of the kids in that part of the state. But, still, it made me even more nervous. So when I read on their blog on Sunday morning that she had been in labor for nearly a day without any action, I was really scared. I spent most of the service at church figuring out how to follow along on their blog just so I would know when they finally went to the hospital.

The end of the story is that I just talked to the proud papa. The baby is fine, but mama’s got to heal up a bit. I fully understood it when he said that up until he saw the baby’s head that yesterday was the worst day of his life. Heck, there are parts of our birth story that are not fit to print or even mention in any circumstance. For some it’s a wonderful process full of endorphins, but for my friend and me it was a hellish experience which reinforced the fragility of life. But I don’t know if a more wanted baby has ever been born then the one who made her appearance yesterday. And for that it’s all worth it.

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I’m a wimp

Posted in Family, Fun, Health by RB on April 27th, 2008

I don’t know why I’m in so much pain this morning. My shoulders are tight; my left leg is cramping up. All we did yesterday was hang out at the farm with my family and fish. I mean, how much pain can a dozen bream and a few fingerling bass cause?

Oh yeah, there was that refrigerator that I helped manhandle down my back steps last night…

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My pastor is better than yours

Posted in Fun, Religion by RB on April 25th, 2008

OK, maybe that’s overstating it just a bit. And, granted, I AM a bit biased since I helped bring him here and all. But let’s be honest. When’s the last time your pastor called you at 3:45 on a Friday afternoon and asked if you wanted a beer and a smoke? Exactly. Too bad I have to work. Ugh!

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So much for justice

Posted in Politics, Religion by RB on April 18th, 2008

Let’s face it, every religion has at least one aspect that outsiders don’t like. Protestants don’t want a Pope (although some of them treat certain pastors as one). Jews don’t accept the whole Messiah aspect of Jesus. And I, for one, like pork too much to be either Muslim or Jewish. And this is why our country has the First Amendment. To some extent in our country, freedom of religion rises a bit above the law. There are legitimate times for the government to step in, but if the government is going to interfere with a religious institution, it had better do so on pretty solid grounds.

I was pretty suspicious of the “16 year old girl” who called in a tip to the authorities from the start. It’s as if the government was looking for an excuse to invade the FDLS compound in west Texas, because once they got an anonymous call they went in full force and took everyone out rather than find the one girl and her accused assailant. Now it has been revealed that the girl who made the call lives in Colorado and had nothing to do with the compound at all.

The stories from people who have left the FDLS are awful. I met one of these women years ago; I only caught glimpses of her story, and it wasn’t pretty. Take a look at the pictures of the women; the 32 year old ladies look closer to fifty. I see nothing good about the FDLS “church.” But let’s face it, children were taken away from their parents and put in state custody on false pretenses. The child custody hearings are impossibly complex and unworkable. And to what end? What will be accomplished when all is said and done? If the wives actually loved their husbands and retained their faith, as weird and seemingly wrong as it is, would the state actually take the children from them? Would the state then lay claim to all new children from those so-called marriages?

I would like to think that only the Clinton administration could screw up the justice department this bad, but alas. It appears that Washington has enough incompetence to go around…

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Recovering Baptist

I want my office back

Just call me Dr. Doolittle

It used to be good, I promise

If you haven’t seen this…

It makes a bit more sense now

Colliding worlds

It’s the most natural thing, but…

I’m a wimp

My pastor is better than yours

So much for justice

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